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How do we get to know and understand our worth, let alone our purpose, under the piles of dishes, mountains of laundry, demands of work, keeping our marriage healthy, or being a mom, whatever stage you're in?
We're certainly no good to anyone if we're exhausted, neglecting self-care, and not living authentically. Overidentifying with the roles we play, if that's the only way we think we can find satisfaction, will leave us left feeling that we're running on empty.
It's not about all the doing. It starts with the being.
Let's Continue to Fill that Tank and Embrace Your Worth!
We cannot lovingly serve anyone if we're not taking care of ourselves. In taking better care of ourselves, we begin to see that light of our worth. As mentioned during the first step of this process:
We were formed by our loving Creator with gifts and a personality that combine to form the core of who we are. We are not human doings, we are human beings.
And when our doing flows from our being, then we have discovered the sweet spot of our core identity. Our inherent worth. Our true self without all of the layers of false living heaped up on us both by the world, and quite often, by ourselves.
False living can become so exhausting that we feel broken. Being worthy doesn't mean we're not broken, on the contrary, we are beautifully broken. Just like the Japanese art of Kintsugi, we can come out more beautiful and even stronger on the other side of feeling broken.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well. -Psalm 139:14
How do we combat the false narrative playing in our heads? How do we embrace ourselves as a unique creation and reflection of God, to the point of praise for how we're made? Let's start by reviewing what we've learned so far, and then jump into our next step:
In Step One, we learned how discovering our spiritual gifts can not only empower us to live authentically, but can also play a part in healing some of brokenness.
In Step Two, we learned more about embracing a "holy no" to even some of the good things, so that we can focus on the next best step God has placed along our path.
Now let's dive in to our next step:
Step Three: Understand Your Personality to
Discover and Embrace Your Worth
Knowing more about our personality helps us to understand why we behave in many of the ways we do. It can help us understand how we're likely to behave when we're in a the sweet spot of your doing flowing from your being, but equally (and sometimes more) important, it can also help us understand what to look for when we're overdoing all the things, stressed, exhausted and burned out. Being equipped with this knowledge can help us give ourselves permission for the self-care and grace we need during the harder seasons.
Understanding our personality can also help us identify areas where we may be approaching a growth edge. Sometimes those harder spaces call for grace, but sometimes they call for discernment in ways we can grow and blossom more into that which has already been planted within us.
I've often thought of myself as rather vanilla. Plain. I don't fit neatly within any of the social cliques. In school I found myself vacillating between the jocks, the nerds, the geeks (yes, there's a difference), the punks, the rebels, the artists, the preps, the band, and the popular kids. I found myself drawn to each of them in some way, but often on the bus ride home after a game, event or field trip, I was the one in the window seat, quietly shedding tears and not knowing why.
I just felt numb.
I'd try to fit in, but because of my sometimes quiet nature and perceived lack of identity, the awkwardness left me not only feeling lost, but sometimes bullied. We know this process of learning who we are is normal as we navigate the choppy hormonal waters of the teen and young adult years, but it's hard to understand when you're in the thick of it. Then adult life starts and in all the doing of adulting we can lose sight of the need for this core understanding of who and whose we are.
At some point in high school, I took a Myers-Briggs personality assessment. I wish I had paid more attention to it then, but having retaken it as an adult, I learned I'm in the middle range of introversion and extraversion.
Well yay, I initially thought. I'm still plain vanilla. I don't fit well on either side.
Thank God! It turns out I'm what's called an ambivert. I can function and be energized by and around people, but to recharge after doing so, I need quiet time to myself. In better understanding this piece of my personality, so many pieces of my past began to come together and make sense.
That bus ride home? I was exhausted from the event and had loved it, but I was overstimulated by the chatter and noise after it was over. Everyone would be celebrating and having fun, and I couldn't understand why I felt so alone in the middle of the excitement.
Now I know there wasn't anything wrong with me, I just could've used some noise cancelling headphones and the words to express, "No, I'm ok. I'm just recharging after all the excitement."
I'm grateful I now know this about myself and have the words to express what I need.
Being an ambivert has also been a blessing in that I now recognize my ability to be drawn to each of those cliques in high school is an inherent ability to see something special in each person. It's one of the reasons I became a life coach, because I have a passion for everyone to see their worth and that unique something special planted within.
To learn your unique personality is a big step to help you discover and embrace your inherent worth. The bigger step is taking the time to sit with the results and really learn about yourself. Even if you've taken a personality indicator before, pull out your results or take it again and really sit with the results.
A good personality indicator will give you a report of how your personality affects your behavior in various situations, such as relationships, parenting, career, or if it's an Enneagram for Christians, it will reflect how your behavior may look when you are living more authentically and what that may look like when you're not in that authentic space. I've linked to a couple of my favorites below.
Sitting with the results can bring great insight and better understanding into your life. There may also be some things you might want to dig deeper into with the help of a life coach guiding the way. Schedule a free consultation today to explore how life coaching can help you navigate the journey of discovering and embracing your worth and unique combination of gifts, personality, and more!
Join us next week as we look at how certain spiritual practices may come more naturally to us when we consider the combination of our personality and spiritual gifts.
What's something you discovered about your personality? Hop into the comments below and share your newfound insight!
May your doing flow from your being,
Laura
Personality Indicators:
16 Personalities - While this Myers-Briggs type indicator offers a paid version, I find the free version to be very insightful and a great starting point. You can save your information and upgrade later if you'd like.
Wagner Enneagram Personality Style Scales - This is an Enneagram personality indicator that I was directed to when learning about the Enneagram for Christians. It has a small fee of $15, with thorough results.
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